Hopefully getting proper internet soon so can come on more. I’ve missed tumblr!!!
Looks like a self soothing night tonight. I’m learning that uncomfortable emotions do pass and I’m strong enough to sit with them now. That is amazing!
delicate-symmetry said: You’re amazing for taking such positive steps to turn your life around. <3
Thank you, I really am trying my hardest. <3
I think the hardest thing about recovery is realising that I am the only person who can save myself. I am the only person who can drag myself out of this hole. It’s up to me whether I make a change, step up to the challenge, regardless of how I feel. It’s up to me to be able to say no, this is enough. It’s up to me to get better.
I have decided I want to update on this blog more regularly.
I had therapy today and a very important lesson I got from it was that no one is in control. I have believed for many years that I have been in control when all this time, it has been an illusion and I’m very much out of control. With the help of my team, I’m starting to see reality and I don’t like it at all. I’ve been living in this…
It’s just for fun and the dance company I go to is just for adults. :) I was a dancer for many years and miss it so much. I’ve actually been doing really good in recovery and I’m on the same side of my team now I’ve been getting more nutrition, I understand they want the best for me. I haven’t been sharing on here though because I’m having a tough time with the emotions tied to it. I will update more though. I decided I didn’t want to live in misery anymore. I have a choice to recover and I’m going to use my excellent support team and let them help me through this. I’m going into the clinic within the next couple of months and that will help push me in the right direction. Ultimately, I want to be strong and healthy. There is a life out there with my name on it and I’m going to take it. I’m done with living a lie. I want to actually live my life, not exist. Thank you for this though because you’re right I did need a wake up call.